Category Archives: News

Christian Worker Receives Compensation After Suffering Stroke From Watching Porn

A conservative Christian organization’s worker has been awarded compensation after watching pornography and suffering a stroke due to office stress. The organization awarded the man compensation after it was found his stress levels “significantly contributed” to the brain hemorrhage. The … Continue reading

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Gay Political Candidate Engulfed In Sex Scandal Won’t Apologize For Having Sex

Democratic political candidate Alex Morse has had his campaign overtaken by a sex scandal—and he would like the record to show that, yes, he does have sex. His Tinder profile has come under scrutiny, as well as his using gay … Continue reading

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Twitter Hacker’s Virtual Court Hearing Is “Zoombombed” By Porn

A virtual court hearing for a teenager accused of masterminding the hacking of celebrity accounts on Twitter was infiltrated by people playing porn. The hacker faced a bond court hearing via Zoom where he pleaded not guilty to 30 felony counts of … Continue reading

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Singles Share Their Rules For Fucking After Lockdown

As lockdown restrictions loosen across the US, horny singles are excitedly diving back into the hook-up scene. But before they can get busy, they’re laying down some ground rules. “It’s almost like having a conversation about STDs, but now it’s … Continue reading

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Sexpert Advises BDSM In Quarantine

Quarantine horniness is reaching its climax, which is why one sex therapist has a safe solution: BDSM. She says, “Kink or sensation play means taking into account all of your sensations and really amplifying those,” including “sensory deprivation, which is … Continue reading

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Hamburg’s Prostitutes Protest The Closure Of The City’s Legal Brothels

Prostitutes demonstrated in Hamburg’s red light district to demand that Germany’s brothels be allowed to reopen after months of closures amid the coronavirus lockdown. The country, which has been widely praised for its rapid coronavirus response, is keeping brothels closed … Continue reading

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Pornhub Offers Free Ads To Help Small Businesses

Pornhub says it wants to help struggling businesses expose themselves to a whole new audience. The porn site is giving away $300,000 worth of free advertising—a move it hopes will stimulate small businesses that have been beaten down by the … Continue reading

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Portland Protester Dubbed “Naked Athena” Strips Down For Police

The Portland protester dubbed “Naked Athena” for her nude confrontation with armed police has revealed she is a sex worker. She said she was inspired to strip to confront the officers after being affronted by their “macho” stances. She says, “The … Continue reading

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Canadian Health Authorities Recommend “Glory Holes”

Canada has a brilliant idea for how to minimize risk while fucking amid the coronavirus pandemic: glory holes. The British Columbia Centre for Disease Control advises the public to “use barriers, like walls (e.g., glory holes), that allow for sexual contact but prevent … Continue reading

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Surgeon Helps Clients Have Anal Sex Like A Porn Star

A doctor in New York City is one of the only surgeons in the world who is dedicated to helping assholes—literally. His life’s work is to make a patient’s anus look exactly how they dream about it looking. He also … Continue reading

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