New Zealanders Warned Against Licking ‘Sexy Pavement Lichen’

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sexy-scientistNew Zealanders are being warned against consuming or licking a certain kind of lichen that grows on roads, pavements, and shaded rocky areas, after claims it’s a natural alternative to Viagra. It’s even earned the nickname “sexy pavement lichen.” The lichen’s discovered properties have led to multiple products being sold online purporting to enhance libido and cure erectile dysfunction — but an analysis showed one of these was “80 percent Viagra, and 20 percent grass clippings.”

While it grows abundantly throughout New Zealand as well as other areas, a sexy lichen scraped right off the pavement is actually toxic, and will also apparently be high in lead, arsenic, mercury and zinc. As one person tweeted, “Botanists: ‘Do not eat the sexy pavement lichen’; New Zealanders: ‘Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen Eat the lichen.’” Pretty much…

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Check out more about sexy pavement lichen: https://mashable.com/article/sexy-pavement-lichen-is-a-thing/

Seniors Caught Hooking Up In Connecticut Conservation Area

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Forest SexIt seems seniors in Connecticut have turned a wooded conservation area into their own sexual playground. Cops have caught multiple elderly people hooking up in the open space, including a pair of 80-somethings. Six people—between the ages 62 and 85—were arrested and charged with breach of peace and public indecency.

Cops had received reports of “lewd and sexual activity” going down in the conservation area and decided to launch an investigation. Officers and detectives conducted surveillance and allegedly observed multiple violations. Internet searches show advertisements on a “City Hookup Guide” site for the space, which is reportedly described as a meet-up spot. Naughty, naughty frisky seniors!

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Check out more about seniors caught hooking up in a conservation area: https://nypost.com/2019/08/20/seniors-caught-hooking-up-in-connecticut-conservation-area/

9 Times ‘The Golden Girls’ Boasted About Their Hot Sex Lives

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161Golden Girls fans know that some of the funniest moments are gags about the girls’ active sex lives. Not only did the girls have a lot of sex, they had really good sex, too. Here are some of the best jokes about the girls getting laid.

  1. Blanche: “Best sex? Oh, it’s just so hard to rate these things. There’s degree of difficulty, style points, choice of music…did they land on their feet during the dismount?”
  2. “So the woman [Rose] had 56 boyfriends in one year, she’s not a slut…She is THE slut. She’s the grand pooh-bah of slutdom.”
  3. The girls walk in on Sophia getting it on: “What is going on here?!” “Afterglow.”
  4. Blanche gave the girls a calendar of all the men she had sex with as a Christmas present: “Oh Blanche, oh honey this is so thoughtful. I’m surprised you were able to walk in October.”
  5. “No offense, Dorothy, but your cupcakes are dry and tasteless. Nobody ever likes your cupcakes.”
    “My cupcakes are moist and delicious. Men LOVE my cupcakes.”
  6. “I’ve got something in this old lady purse that’s gonna make you scream, holler, and jump for joy!”
    “Are the batteries included?”
  7. “Is that all you care about? Money and applause?”
    “And sex. For which I generally get applause.”
  8. “Blanche, how do you feel about performing in front of a video camera?”
    “I think it’s alright as long as you’ve already had at least three dates.”
  9. When the girls went to a pharmacy to buy essentials for a vacation with their boyfriends: “Condoms, Rose. Condoms, condoms, condoms!”

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Check out more Golden Girls sex jokes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/kaylayandoli/the-golden-girls-had-better-sex-lives-than-all-of-us

YouPorn Offers ‘Truly Unique’ Chance To Propose On Their Site

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woman-609252_640YouPorn is offering the engagement story of a lifetime—though you might not want to share it with your family. The adult entertainment website is hoping to give one lucky lovebird the opportunity to propose to a significant other on the porn-streaming platform.  “What better way to make your love story truly unique than popping the question in front of the millions of people and on one of the most popular websites in the world?” said the vice president of YouPorn in a press release.

The contest, which YouPorn is calling “YouPropose,” requires participants to apply by submitting “a paragraph gushing about why you would like to propose to your partner on YouPorn.” YouPorn is extra excited at the prospect of two active YouPorn uploaders — perhaps couples that watch together, or share their footage on the site — getting together during the “YouPropose” promotion. “We wanted to do something to support partnerships and people who want to celebrate each other,” said the VP. “Ideally we will get some submissions from couples that upload to our site!”

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Check out more about YouPropose: https://nypost.com/2019/06/18/youporn-offers-truly-unique-chance-to-propose-on-their-site/

Woman In Swimsuit Invades Champions League Final, Promotes Porn

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cup-1010916_1920A woman in a swimsuit caught an entire stadium’s attention when she ran onto the pitch of the Champions League final in the UK. The scantily-clad woman showed off her assets before security ushered her off the field and the fun stopped. Apparently, the pseudo-streaker was promoting a porn website.

The adult entertainment site was launched by her boyfriend, a Russian-American YouTube personality. He wrote on Instagram following her racy stunt, “My fucking baby girl just streaked Champions League Final, so proud of you, you’re my everything.” These two hit “sex sells” out of the park…

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Check out more about a woman invading a Champions League final to promote porn: https://nypost.com/2019/06/01/woman-invades-champions-league-final-field-promotes-porn/

Searching ‘Lesbian’ On Google No Longer Shows Porn First

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Image Credit: The Daily Dot, Shutterstock.com

After years of Googling ‘lesbian’ and getting porn in the search results, the search engine has finally changed its algorithm to show educational material first. Google implemented this change in response to mounting criticism, particularly in France. “Critics argued that by placing pornography and other sexualized images of lesbians before their history or other informative content, Google contributed to a culture that oversexualizes lesbians and treats them as entertainment,” explains Daily Dot.

A Twitter user was the first to call out Google during Pride month when, even with a Stonewall remembrance banner atop the page, the top search results for “lesbian” linked to porn. Google’s vice president of search engine quality later said the search results for the term lesbian, “are terrible, there is no doubt about it.” While Google never made an official announcement, the Twitter user who first called out Google tweeted that the Wikipedia page for lesbians is now the top search result.

But hey, looking for some good X-rated material? We’ve got just what you’re searching for here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about how searching for ‘lesbian’ on Google no longer shows porn first: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/google-search-lesbian/

9 Of The Wildest Stories From ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’

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Sex Sent Me To The ER was a show on TLC that used actors to reenact real-life sex mishaps. The stories were both scary and hilarious—and definitely served as good cautionary tales. Here are some of the wildest stories:

  1. Woman had severe vaginal pains after her husband used exploding candy rocks to perform oral sex.
    When food in the bedroom goes wrong….
  2. Woman got third degree burns because her partner poured a melted gummy bear on her chest.
    This is not sticky/sweet!
  3. Guy got his penis stuck in the door knob hole while trying to having kinky sex with his girlfriend.
    Kinky in a bad way…
  4. Couple got electrocuted while having sex on a mechanical bull.
    The woman said, “and then boom! I’m getting electrocuted via my vagina.”
  5. Couple had sex on the bus during a Zombie Run and when a “zombie” spooked them, this woman jumped, and accidentally broke her nose.
    Run for your (sex) life!
  6. Guy got third degree burns on his foot because he was hooking up by an open fire.
    Hot?
  7. Man had a legless lizard slither into his urethra because he was butt naked outside in an attempt to find his “sexual spirit.”
    Maybe he was really looking for his spirit animal?
  8. Guy slipped and hit his head on a meat hook while trying to have sex with his wife in a meat freezer.
    What men will do for a piece of tail…
  9. Couple got sick from C. coli, a bacteria found in pigs, after having sex in the mud.
    Dirty, literally!

Want to get sexually adventurous? You don’t have to roll around in the mud to get dirty, just c’mon over to NiteFlirt and we’ll help!

Check out more about the best sex mishaps from ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ajanibazile/sex-sent-me-to-the-er

Whitney Cummings Debuts Her Sex Robot Doppelgänger

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In comedian Whitney Cummings new stand-up special “Can I Touch It” she has a big surprise for her audience—a life-sized sex doll of herself. She made the sex-robot double, complete with matching outfit, as a way to discover its uses for women. In the special, Cummings says robots might make men appreciate women more, something she realized after monitoring conversations in a chat room for sex-robot owners.

She also points out that men are making unexpected choices about their robot’s anatomy, suggesting an evolution in that area. And, she posits, they could even help teenage boys learn about consent. Cummings told the Daily Beast that the sex robot material stemmed from trying to find something “edgy” to talk about, and having a sex robot doppelgänger is certainly a selling point for a standup special.

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Check out more about Whitney Cummings’ sex robot double: https://www.dailydot.com/upstream/netflix-whitney-cummings-can-i-touch-it-review/

Brexit Is Destroying Sex Lives

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2-215Sexually frustrated people in the UK have taken to Twitter to complain about how their sex drives have dwindled due to the stress Brexit is causing them. Some have even filed for divorce after their partner voted differently than they did. Some have remained with their partners, but feel too angry about things to have sex with them.

Luckily, these sexit-themed jokes about how “BoJo killed your mojo” have relieved some unfortunate tension: one tweet says, “In other words Hard Brexit or Soft Brexit?” Another writes, “These days my hard backstop is always a part of my withdrawal agreement.” But this tweet pretty much sums it up: “I find that I am getting screwed everyday with Brexit.”

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Check out more sexit-themed jokes on Twitter: https://mashable.com/article/brexit-sex-lives/

Women Are Taking Dominatrix Classes To Lure Manhattan Billionaires

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4707352284_1e4de7d166_zA dominatrix has launched a one-of-a-kind class for women who want to hook up with powerful men that want to be dominated. She said that BDSM attracts so many CEO-types because “the amount of control these men have is astronomical” and they’re looking for “somebody to tell them what to do for once.” She hosts the classes in her Soho loft—the four sessions cost $2,000—to teach women everything from the ABCs of BDSM to psychological techniques they can use.

Some of the skills the students learn is “how to get into a man’s head” — and how to treat social, romantic and professional interactions like a game between a dom and a sub. “It was all upper-class women, everyone from CEOs to private-school moms,” one of the students said. “I think we were all kind of shocked. No one said anything at first. The mistress showed us bonds, whips and devices to put on men’s private parts.” The dominatrix hopes to make “domming the new pole dancing.”

Want to indulge your sexual fetish? Come to NiteFlirt and we can definitely teach you a thing or two about getting kinky!

Check out more about a dominatrix’s class for women who want to lure kinky, rich men in NYC: https://nypost.com/2019/08/03/women-are-taking-dominatrix-classes-to-lure-powerful-manhattan-billionaires/