George From ‘Seinfeld’ Porn Parody Is an Internet Hero

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Is there any beloved ’90s sitcom that doesn’t have a porn parody by now? Well, here’s another to forever taint your TV nostalgia: Seinfeld XXX Parody. It was produced by New Sensations in 2009, starring James Deen as Jerry Seinfeld, and earning 10 nominations at the AVN Awards. But the guy who plays George is currently still enjoying his success from the porno—because he’s worshipped by Seinfeld fanboys!

It seems the Facebook group “Seinfeld Shitposting” (basically a Facebook group for image macros from Seinfeld) can’t get enough “Porn Gorg” jokes. While they like “Porn Jery” and “Porn Elane” okay, it’s Porn Gorg, or Steve Pomerantz as he’s known in real life, who they’re fascinated with. George is the perfect candidate for internet jokes, but as Daily Dot speculates, “maybe it’s just funny to imagine a super-virile George Costanza.” And Steve Pomerantz takes pictures of hot models for a living, so really, he’s like a real life Bizarro George alter ego! So, there you go, George—you can now be king of your own small internet universe!

Want to have a successful experience yourself? We know a thing or two about super-virile alter egos here!

Check our more about George from ‘Seinfeld’ porn parody becoming an internet sensation: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/actor-seinfeld-porn-gorg/

This Massager Can Make You Cum Through Your Clothes

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Image Source: Hi on IndieGoGo

These days, it’s all about instant gratification—so why should getting off be any different? There’s now a massager promising intense, fast orgasms, without even needing to get naked! Hi Full Body Massager is a magical ergonomic device designed by clinical sexologists to give you “full body relaxation, and multiple orgasms in just minutes, anywhere you want.”

Hi offers a money back guarantee, as well as help with all kinds of physical maladies from stress and PMS to sore muscles and migraines. While it’s probably too large to travel with, a sex toy capable of so many benefits definitely seems worth it. And who knows, maybe it will spark a new clothes-on masturbating craze!

Looking for a quick fix yourself? We deliver intense, fast action right here!

Check out more about the massager that can make you cum through your clothes: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/full-body-massage-orgasm-through-clothes/

There’s a Sex Toy That Looks Like the Eggplant Emoji

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Everyone’s favorite phallic emoji just went beyond its current use as a hilarious sexual innuendo. Now you can take the beloved cock stand-in out of your sexts and into your bedroom with a new sex toy made in its likeness! That’s right, the Emojibator just went on sale—and it’s not just some cute novelty.

While it may seem like a gimmick intended for laughs, the Emojibator is actually a high-tech vibrator which, according to the product description, promises a “healthy serving of vitamin D.” Some of its features include 10 vibration settings, and a completely watertight “stem.” Made of medical-grade silicone, it’s an exact, real-life replica of the impressive eggplant emoji. Now they just need to create a peach emoji sex toy and we’ll be all set!

Looking to go beyond the eggplant emoji sext yourself? You won’t find any gimmicks in our bedroom!

Check out more about the sex toy that looks like the eggplant emoji here: https://www.refinery29.com/2016/08/121893/emojibator-eggplant-emoji-sex-toy

These Models Look Like They’re Covered In Cum

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Photographer: FirstVIEW via Fashion Unliimited - Hood by Air NYFW

Photographer: FirstVIEW via Fashion Unlimited – Hood by Air NYFW

The most provocative runway show at New York Fashion Week was Hood By Air, which featured models with Hustler and Pornhub logos splayed across their chests (and other body parts)! According to Daily Dot, “They also wore amber goggles that referenced the kind of protective eyewear California porn stars were nearly mandated to wear on set when a 2013 condom bill was proposed in the state senate.” But the raciest thing about the show? The models looked like they were covered in cum!

The Pornhub-branded show created the “cumshot” hair and makeup look with Vaseline, Egyptian Magic, and a special effects product called Ultra Ice that mimics the look of frozen water on skin. And if the post-Bukkake glaze wasn’t X-rated enough, the show also featured performance artist and musician No Bra among its model lineup, who’s famous for performing topless and having sexy LGBT people make out in her videos. Who knew cum was the new “It” thing for fall?!

Want to get into something a bit provocative yourself? We’ve got a racy show for you right here!

Check out more about the runway show with models who looked like they were dripping in cum: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/hood-by-air-pornhub-bukkake-makeup/

8 Innocent Photos That Are Actually Totally Filthy

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Sometimes when you see seemingly “innocent” looking things, you wonder if they’re actually innocent or if it’s just your dirty mind. You know, like with that supposedly PG-13 bumper sticker that reads “BJ Mom.” Well, we’ve got good news for you: while you may have a dirty mind, those so-called innocent things are actually totally filthy. Here are 8 photos that prove it (check them out below).

Shadow Dicks
In this picture, the shadows from the bridge appear to be in the shape of a dick. Architecture is so cool!

Image Source: CanYouActually.com

Vagina rock
Yeah, we’d be willing to bet everybody has seen at least one pussy in a rock formation. Mother nature, represent!

Image Source: CcanYouActually.com

Elmo Experiments
We know what this seemingly innocent children’s book is really about…

Image Source: Radass

“Insert fingers and tear along perforations”
We’ve all seen this on a box—and we’ve all thought the same dirty thing!

Image Source: Men’s Den

P_ _ I S
Oh, Wheel of Fortune. We definitely do know the answer to “Where To Find Love.”

Image Source: Men’s Den

In the Pink: Latex Gloves
Found right in your local grocery store…filthy!

Image Source: Radass

“BJ Mom”
MILF and proud!

Image Source: Distractify

“It’s amazing what you can do with two fingers and a thumb.”
It certainly is.

Image Source: Distractify

Want to put that dirty mind to good use? There’s nothing ambiguous about the filthy stuff you’ll find here!

Check out more innocent photos that are actually filthy here: https://distractify.com/humor/2016/08/20/35-innocent-photos-somehow-completely-filthy

Pamela Anderson’s Hypocritical Anti-Porn Stance

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If you had to guess the most unlikely person to jump on the anti-porn bandwagon, Pamela Anderson would probably come to mind. Everyone knows the blonde bombshell has profited off her “leaked” sex tape, not to mention has made a career over sexualizing herself. So it comes as a bit of a shock to hear her publicly condemn pornography in a recent Wall Street Journal op-ed, co-authored with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

In the op-ed, they claim the Anthony Weiner (Weinergate) scandal is the result of the “public hazard” known as porn addiction. Aside from the fact that porn has literally nothing to do with Weiner’s seemingly compulsive need to send dick pictures to women on the internet, this type of old-world moralizing basically just puppets the same tired rhetoric that conservative, religious politicians use. And this coming from a woman who capitalized on her sex symbol status for years, starting off as a Playboy bunny, and starring in soft core porn flicks like Barb Wire. If Pamela Anderson really believes “porn is for losers,” she might want to rethink her entire career that has been built almost entirely on getting people off.

Want to have a shame-free, erotic experience? Ain’t no shame in our game!

Check out more about Pamela Anderson’s hypocritical anti-porn stance here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/03/porn-industry-shocked-by-pamela-anderson-s-hypocritical-anti-porn-crusade.html

‘Eat It’: the Art Show Dedicated To Eating Pussy

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The sex-positive, feminist art show, “Eat It,” is using the words of cunnilingus enthusiast Lil Wayne as inspiration: “I got a sweet tooth. Now can I eat you?” The show, curated by comedian and writer Alison Stevenson and filmmaker and artist Elizabeth Vazquez, is all about the joys of eating pussy. The women are hoping to normalize and celebrate the act of going down because, as they say, “It’s an act that’s not as celebrated as other sex acts.”

“Eat It” showcases the art of some amazing feminist artists, including Frances Canon, Fahren Feingold, and Priyanka Paul, to show just how beautiful cunnilingus can be. And the show does not shy away from body parts and details: “The philosophy was basically, the more graphic the better,” Stevenson said. Even if you can’t make the exhibition, they want you to take their muff-diving philosophy to heart: “Ask! Communicate! Communication is a really important part of sex. People shy away from it, they think it ruins the moment, but it will actually make the moment a lot better.” And we can all draw inspiration from Lil Wayne, who says in his song, “Pussy Monster”: “It’s like I gotta eat it just to stay alive.”

Looking for something tasty and sweet? We’ve got just the thing for your sugar craving!

Check out more about “Eat It” here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/eat-it-cunnilingus-feminist-art-show_us_57b74f0ce4b03d51368850bd

Dinosaur Butt Sex Book Is Finalist For a Prestigious Award

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Chuck Tingle is the erotic fiction writer behind such beloved works as Pounded In the Butt By My Own Butt. Fans love him for his raunchy sense of humor and hot sci-fi sex. But would anyone call his latest smutty short story “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” a literary masterpiece? Apparently, the answer is yes, according to the folks who judge the esteemed Hugo Award.

The Hugo Award, given annually to the best works in science fiction and fantasy, is widely considered one of the most prestigious science fiction awards. So, you may be wondering—have they lost their damn minds nominating “Space Raptor Butt Invasion”? The short answer is, sort of: according to the Guardian, a right-wing campaign of conservatives is seeking to “combat the Hugo tendency to reward works deemed ‘niche, academic, overtly to the left in ideology and flavour, and ultimately lacking what might best be called visceral, gut-level, swashbuckling fun.’” Given this criteria, yes, it does seem “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” would indeed give readers “gut-level, swashbuckling fun.” Perhaps these judges might also find something of high literary merit over at Pornhub—there’s plenty of butt invasion going on there!

Dinosaurs may be extinct, but sex with them (or any other animal) is not allowed on NiteFlirt. If you’re interested in some raunchy fun that is allowed, we’re confident we could win any award in the x-rated category!

Check out more about the dinosaur butt sex book up for a prestigious award here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jarrylee/space-raptor-butt-invasion?utm_term=.anyW9oMBYl#.sgjQEAl6KL

Fuck Buddies Share The Secret To Their Success

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Sex is great. Friends are great. But when you mix the two, you usually get mixed results. While no-strings-attached sex should be a good time, unfortunately because of a pesky thing called “feelings,” that’s not often the case. Which is what makes these fuck buddies’ success stories so remarkable! Here’s what successful fuck buddies told Vice about how they keep it casual, without spoiling the relationship.

Grace and Hans met at a club and started fucking casually for about two years. Even though they have mutual friends, and would often see each other dating other people, they both say they never got jealous. How? “I think it’s all about not catching the feels,” says Hans. Now they’re just friends, “we hang without the bang,” but they say not “catching feels,” having distance, and showing respect is what made their casual relationship successful. Another couple agree that sleeping around and being laid back is the key to a successful fuck buddy system. Their advice: “Only do it with people you can be mates with. Be laid-back about it, have a sense of humor. Don’t be dicks to each other. Remember: it’ll be a good story one day.”

Looking for something fun and casual? We are all about no-strings-attached here!

Check out more fuck buddy success stories here: https://www.vice.com/read/successful-fuck-buddies-talk-about-how-they-kept-it-casual

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George From ‘Seinfeld’ Porn Parody Is an Internet Hero

This Massager Can Make You Cum Through Your Clothes

There’s a Sex Toy That Looks Like the Eggplant Emoji

These Models Look Like They’re Covered In Cum

8 Innocent Photos That Are Actually Totally Filthy

Pamela Anderson’s Hypocritical Anti-Porn Stance

‘Eat It’: the Art Show Dedicated To Eating Pussy

Dinosaur Butt Sex Book Is Finalist For a Prestigious Award

Fuck Buddies Share The Secret To Their Success