Category Archives: Insights

‘The Golden Girls’ Like You’ve Never Seen Them Before in XXX Parody

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via Youtube

via Youtube

To celebrate The Golden Girls 30th anniversary, Hustler decided to give the feisty ladies the ultimate tribute with its porn parody, This Ain’t The Golden Girls XXX. The Golden Girls was a cutting edge show in the way that it showed that age doesn’t necessarily mean death of the libido. And for a show that pushed back against sexist double-standards by its sassy ladies never shying away from sex, the porn parody truly celebrates their lust for life.

The porn parody stays true to the show’s message that older women can still be sexy and sexual. Its cast is made up of older, seasoned adult film actresses, including Karen Summer who made a comeback with her portrayal of Sophia after a 20-year hiatus. “It was like the old days of porn. We had scripts, and wardrobe, a full crew and a couple of days shooting,” says Summer. The ladies in Golden Girls XXX definitely take the innuendos and saucy dialogue up a notch with the hardcore sex scenes—gray wigs and all! But most importantly, the parody proves that women can still love sex and getting frisky at age 60 and up.

Feel like getting frisky yourself? Come celebrate your lust for life with some very feisty ladies right here!

Want more about This Ain’t The Golden Girls XXX? Here ya go!

Hilarious Messages Real Women Have Gotten on Dating Sites

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Image Source: Flickr.com by i_am_fry/Most women who have tried dating sites have had at least one hilariously weird encounter. Whether it’s an unsolicited dick pic, a strange pick up line, or a straight up random invitation to bone, women understand that when they look for love online, some strange encounters will likely ensue. Here are some real women sharing their strangest, most hilarious messages from dating sites.

  1. “I love older women and my mom said I could borrow her car!”
    Women love it when a man—ahem, boy—takes charge!
  2. “Honestly, I wanna put you in some sexual positions!”
    This guy gets right to the point!
  3. “I love it when a girl squishes spiders.” 
    If you’re not on a kinky fetish site, this might not be the best way to introduce yourself…
  4. “If you step between my legs, I will climax.”
    This is like some bad, plagiarized erotica.
  5. “You look like a hot, spoiled brat.”
    We guess some men are into that?!
  6. “I just got out of jail. Been lonely.”
    At least this dude’s got nothing to hide?
  7. “I’m dtf [down to fuck] and my lunch break is in 20 minutes.”
    This guy doesn’t waste any time!

Feel like having some sexy encounters with real women yourself? We are always DTF here!

Here are more hilarious messages from dating sites.

The Fetish of Laying Alien Eggs Inside Your Body

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Images Source: Primal Hardwere

The newest thing in weird sex fetishes: a dildo that is used to implant “alien eggs” inside yourself. The unusual sex toy is called a Ovipositor, which is basically an intimidating looking dildo that “lays goopy eggs molded from gelatin in the body cavity of your choice,” according to Vice. Alien egg fetishists say they get off on the sensation of mushy alien ovum overflowing from their bodies. So here’s what the entrepreneur says of the fetish he describes as “enormous egg-laying alien dicks.”

“The idea is to replicate the act of being impregnated with eggs. Usually from an alien or insect. If you’ve seen the Aliens movies, you’llget the picture,” the man who goes by Lone Wolf says. Since many people find laying alien eggs inside oneself arousing, he came up with the idea to create a hollow, phallus-shaped dildo to insert the gelatin eggs. Lone Wolf says the fetishists who like his product are just regular people from all different cultures. In explaining the weird fetish, Lone Wolf says, “It blurs the line of our own humanity to find sexual pleasure with something that is so far from human, and for some, just talking about it gets them wet.”

Feel like indulging your own fetish? Human or alien, we are open to all kinds of kinky stuff here!

Check out more about the alien egg fetish here.

How to Keep Your Wet and Messy Fetish Safe

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If you have a food or sploshing fetish, it’s important to keep it safe when getting all wet and messy with food and other sloppy materials. When rubbing, throwing, and rolling around in different types of messy things, you need to be careful not to let your sloppy good time turn into something unpleasant or painful. So here are some tips for how to keep it safe when sploshing.

  1. Avoid sugary stuff near your pussy
    “Sugar-free foods and syrups are definitely suggested because yeast typically loves sugar,” says Flanigan, a BDSM and kink expert. At the very least, sugary things can cause irritation. This includes honey.
  2. Stay away from gritty textures
    “If your frosting or cakes contain sprinkles, beware. And watch out for strawberries, kiwis, or anything else with little seeds, because those can scratch or hurt you if they get somewhere they shouldn’t be,” says Flanigan. Ouch!
  3. Be careful not to get things in your eyes
    If you’re pouring or throwing things in the face, be sure to wear goggles. Also make sure to wash your eyes afterward.
  4. Be careful when using food as lube
    “The only thing I would suggest as lube would be a food-grade oil, like coconut oil or olive oil,” says another sex expert. Also keep in mind that anything oil-based can break down latex condoms, so stick to a silicone-based lube or water-based lube when using latex.
  5. Be VERY careful with spicy things
    Unless you are incorporating spicy things as a BDSM thing, be very very careful!
  6. Clean up afterward
    If anything gets near your naughty bits, make sure to clean up afterward with regular soap and water. And for the rest of your body, dish soap will work well.

Feel like getting into some wet and messy fun with us? We love getting down and dirty here!

Need more tips about how to keep it safe when sploshing? Here ya go!

The Pleasures of Dry Humping

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Ah, yes. Dry humping. Perhaps you haven’t thought about this little bit of foreplay since you were a teenager furiously making out on your parent’s sofa. But adding some hot, dry humping into the mix before getting into the wet, real humping can definitely help you to spice things up in the bedroom. Here are some reasons to start grinding tonight.

via TheOnion

via TheOnion

The best reason to dry hump is simply because it feels really really good, especially for women. Many women get off when masturbating by rubbing against things, adding firm pressure, and grinding. Dry humping can also be a fun, sexy tease that will build up the anticipation in your foreplay until you’re both begging for the real thing. Some people even prefer the taunting pressure without allowing themselves the release afterward (mainly those who are into BDSM). You can dry hump in jeans for less direct contact (but for heaven’s sake, no belt buckles!), in your underwear, or even naked for more intense clitoral stimulation. Then just “do the humpty hump” to your heart’s content!

Feel like getting into some frisky action yourself? We know how to build you up till you’re begging for more!

Here’s more about the pleasures of dry humping.

What Gets People Off at Sex Emporiums Around the World

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via Wikipedia

via Wikipedia

International sex shops, just like the different cultures and people of various parts of the world, are unique and distinctive. Since every continent and country has their own naughty tastes and preferences when it comes to getting off, Vice decided to investigate international sex emporiums to find out what turns people on all around the world. Here’s some of the interesting things that they found.

In Germany, the uber-popular sex mega-shops cater mainly to fräulein (women), with vibrators as their best-selling item last year. Berlin is also home to DILDOKING, which as the name suggests sells dildos, but also plenty of vibrators, anal beads or “love balls”, fetish gear and more. In Japan, the most famous sex shop is M, a seven-story mecca that carries, of course, Doll pillows, and basically anything else you might fancy. In China, the biggest sex store is Juse, which has 500 stores nationwide, and sells vibrators and BDSM toys as its most popular merch. So, as it turns out, while people are different all over the world, we’re all pretty similar when it comes to our sex toys!

Feel like illuminating your desire with us? We cater to all tastes and preferences right here!

Here’s Vice‘s international sex mega-shops investigation.

NYC Bodypainting Day Celebrates Nudity and Body Art

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bodypaintdayNew York City—a place that represents freedom, diversity, and artistic expression. So what better place for a diverse group of people to strip naked in the middle of the city to have their bodies painted? NYC Bodypainting Day celebrates bodies of all shapes and sizes—and, of course, stripping down to your birthday suit in the name of art (check out images below).

The event is free, open to the public, and anyone can volunteer to have their body used as a human canvas. And it celebrates people of all races and colors, literally painting them in every color imaginable. It also promotes body acceptance, since the people participating will actually walk butt-ass naked in a parade down New York City, showing everyone what beauty looks like in all its forms.

Feel like celebrating the beauty of the body? We love all shapes and sizes here!

Find out more about NYC Bodypainting Day here.

College Banner Shows Where to Drop Off “Baby Girl” For a “Good Time”

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A fraternity at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia wanted to greet the incoming freshman class in classic Animal House fashion with some banners. They were displayed at an off-campus home and read “Freshman Daughter Drop Off,” with an arrow pointing at the front door, “Go Ahead And Drop Off Mom Too…” and “Rowdy And Fun, Hope Your Baby Girl Is Ready For A Good Time…”. The banners have since been taken down, but these types of rowdy, sex-crazed messages are certainly nothing new.

fratdropoff

At Ohio State, a banner read: “We’ll take what we can get @59 Clit #Welcum2Cougartown” (“59 Clit” being a play on the name of the street.) Come on, fellas. You can be more ambitious than that! Take a cue from the Virginia dudes—moms and daughters! Seriously though, what sexy lady isn’t going to see that banner, strip all her clothes off, and run into the house ready for action (and we don’t mean beer pong) with a bunch of horny college guys?! Stay classy, frat dudes.

Want to have some rowdy good times with us? You won’t need to take what you can get here!

Woman Can Only Cum While Sleeping

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_orgasmfaceA woman on TLC’s show “Strange Sex” claimed that she had never been able to achieve an orgasm with her husband—because she’s only ever been able to have one while sleeping! Though the woman claimed to enjoy sex with her husband, she said that she never actually was able to cum with him. While talking to a girlfriend about cumming, she realized that she did have orgasms—but only while asleep. Bizarrely, though she was able to cum during sleep, she did not orgasm during sex dreams.

The woman sought the help of a hypnotherapist to shift her orgasms from her sleeping state to her waking state. With time and a lot of work, she was able to achieve the Big O through sex. This lady’s problem definitely put a strange twist on an all too common problem for women. Maybe the show will inspire more women to see a hypnotherapist—or just to want to cum during sex!

Feel like having a satisfying ending yourself? We can give you the literal orgasm of your dreams right here!

Read on for more about the woman who could only cum when sleeping!

Famous Nudes of Art History—With Vibrators

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magicwandarthistoryA hilarious Tumblr has added an amazing and surprisingly appropriate addition to some famous paintings of nude women: vibrators. That’s right, art history’s most iconic ladies have been given a fun little something something if the urge to rub one out should arise. Here are some of art history’s most beautiful masturbators with a brand new battery-operated companion (check out the images below):

  1. Danae with Magic Wand by Gustav Klimt
    Here, the gorgeous red-haired goddess of one of Klimt’s masterpieces is nude and masturbating with a Hitachi Magic Wand as a gold river flows out from between her legs like ethereal cum.
  2. American Hitachi by Grant Wood
    This one’s of “American Gothic,” but with a Hitachi Magic Wand instead of a pitchfork! The rural couple already looks happier!
  3. Danae with Hitachi by Correggio
    In this painting a beautiful angel helps a stunning nude get off with a vibrator as fat little cherubs control the settings below. Touched by an angel indeed!
  4. Danae with Hitachi by Correggio
    Here, Venus relaxes naked in bed making sexy bedroom eyes at the viewer while playfully clutching her Hitachi Magic Wand. Venus, you feisty goddess, you!
  5. The Creation of the Magic Wand by Michelangelo
    Yup, you guessed it. Adam reaches out to touch God’s finger—with a Hitachi Magic Wand in his hand!

Feel like making some beautiful art with us? We can make you feel like you’ve been touched by an angel right here!

The images of art history’s most famous nudes with vibrators can be found here.